Cootermaroos is written by me, Hamilton Carter. I'm an engineer, a published author in the fields of engineering, parenting, and pop culture, and most importantly a dad.
I believe dads can be more involved with every part of parenting. I believe dads can include their kids in pretty much everything we do and that by doing this, we set ourselves up for happier lives.
I was the first person each kid met. I served as the delivery doula—at my partner’s request—at each of the their home births. The kids and I still hang out and work together every day.
Let's get a few background items out of the way. The kids are referred to here as Daize, Mota, and Tawnse so that they can remain as annonymous as possible.
I believe that kids can and should be treated as independent, capable people. Consequently, whenever possible, I avoid saying 'my kids.' The phrase is replaced with phrases like, "I'm those kids' dad." which I'm fine with because I'm the one that decided I wanted them in my life and made it happen. I had the choice, we can swing a few personal ownership pronouns my way. That's ok. Meanwhile, "my kids," when said to another adult is far to easy to construe into a sense of control.
I also believe that relinquishing control to people—even and especially kids—for their own lives is huge source of joy and freedom for all.
All right, now that we have the basics out of the way, why write Cootermaroos at all?
To be frank, I wasn't sure I even wanted to be a parent. I thought it would take too much time and be too hard. Then, my own parents pointed out to me that they'd simply integrated me into almost every aspect of their lives. They'd never really slowed down at all. Once my eyes were open, I started to meet other people who parented the way I wanted to.
Then, I met someone whose parenting thoughts resonated with mine, even though they had ideas I'd never really heard of before. Since then,
my parenting journey has been intense and it's a source of great joy for me.
I want to share that with other dads and families.
Here's what I believe about being a dad:
I believe people should center themselves in joy by taking on their lives in the direction that makes them happiest and sharing the work with their partners, families, and communities.
I live the life that's described in Cootermaroos because it makes me happy to be deeply and equally involved in parenting.
I believe there's huge value in the kids getting to be part of my everyday life.
I know my full-fledged involvement gives my partner room to breathe and be herself, independent of being a parent. She does the same thing for me.
I believe dads can be integrated in every part of parenting.
I believe they'll be happier as a result.
I know the kids in my life feel really good about helping with things in the family they can do the instant they can do them.
I know they feel really good about helping in their community whether that's by marching in strikes, advocating for bus lines not to be canceled, or for masks to be required on BART during a pandemic, or just caring deeply and empathetically about other people, including other kids in their sphere.
So, now that we've got who I am out of the way, I'd love to hear more about you! You can find me on Facebook or X or email me at hamilton.carter@cootermaroos.com.